This has been around for some time I gather, but it amused me.

It's under a cut and please don't play it if you or anyone around you is offended by bad language (I mean the F and C words!)

 Ewwww.
There was a condom outside my front door. I trod on it and brought it into my hall on my foot. Then had to kick it out of front door onto busy path. Can you imagine the passers-by  wanting to know why there was a girl kicking a condom out of her front door!
I know I probably should have donned rubber gloves and picked it up and thrown it away but my immediate reaction was eww! be gone condom kick kick kick.

 Robbed from </a></font></b></a>scarbaby 
I got this meme from the lead singer and primary songwriter of the band Lac Unique!! (Scarbaby) she added fascinating explanations to her song titles i will try also to uncover the genius of my songwriting!!

1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

My Band Name is:
Howard Miller after the minister and general superintendent in the Church of the Nazarene. Howard V. Miller was born in Brooktodlae, New York, and joined the Church of the Nazarene in 1922. He was an inspiring man and needed to have a band named after him.


My Album is called:

List of 3rd Party Leaders (Quebec)  I wanted the title to have the word list in it, essentially an album is a list of songs. I also wanted the word party in the title because we all like a good party. I also wanted the word leaders in the title because afterall ,we are the leaders in the music world. Quebec just semed like a nice place.

The tracks on my album are:

1. Bin Laden Family- Contraversial track about the Bin Ladens, of couse it's really an attack on the US Military, but most people are too stupid to notice this and accuse me of being pro Bin Laden. Besides, just because Osama was a twat some of the Bin Laden family might be quite sweet.

2. System 9 A Mac operating system, the song is about unrequited love and the hours wasted scribbling his name on your pencil case. I couldn't think of a title that didn't sound mawkish and my geeky bassist came up with the title. After the success of this first single I was touched to learn that System 9 has become a oft- used phase with teenagers to refer to unrequited love as in 'She's got a real system 9 over him'. It's heartwarming to help form the nation's colloquialisms.

3. High Atlas.  The mountain range in Morocco where I shoved my husband off the top. The song was originally called Fuck off you waste of space but I had to conceed with my band memebers that High Atlas sounded cooler and could be announced on Saturday morning telly without censorship.

4. Henrick Brenkman. He is best known for his work on the textual history of the Corpus iuris civilis. His main work, the Historia Pandectarum, concerned with the Florentine Manuscript, remains of significance today and after a debauch gig in Florence I wanted a way of saying sorry to the Florentine people. They know what this song really means.

5. Sergio Chiani. Real name of actor Alan Steel, who paved a career playing mythologocal he- men. I wanted to write a song about my love of manly chests Sergio really personified this. I thought Sergio was a sexier name than Alan.

6. WMIO. Puerto Rico Radio station. Our one and only forray into Latin American music inspired by Strictly Come Dancing. It didn't work for us as a band.

7. Indian Institute of Technoloy Kanpur. I am particulary proud of the use of the recorder in this song. I think its good to go back to one's childhood talents once in a while.

8. Ratangarh, Bijnor. The follow up to the previous song. 

9. USS Caron (DD-970) US navy boat. An epic song about the futility of war and also Navy Boys in cute uniforms.

10.  The Blueprint: The Gift and The Curse. Also the title of Jay-Z's 7th album. Lawyers are currently battling this out. I can assure you I thought up this title first. He stole it off me. The song is of course about my genius songwriting talent.

11. Combat 786. Combat 786 is a violent gang of Islamic fundermentalists operating in the North of England. 
Guitar heavy tune, made poignant by my haunting melodies, the lyrics "Show me your beard/Circumcision ain't wierd" has ensured me a warm place in the hearts of British Muslims. 

12. Adoption Proceedings of Emma Rose. Emma Rose was a kid at the centre of a huge adoption row. It was something to do with lesbians. My song is about lesbians. The drummer asked me to write about them so I did. I have no idea why the video was banned, afterall TaTu got away with it...

13. Oudheusden. Tribute to Dutch soft metal.

14. Aqueduct-North Conduit Avenue.  New York Subway  station.  I think this song sums up life in a city. The song was originally called Charring Cross but the record company wanted a title the US audience would understand, bollocks to the fact noone in the UK has a clue what I'm singing about and the lyrics don't rhyme properly anymore.

15. Faamatai.  Named after the traditional indigenous form of local governance in the islands of Samoa in the South Pacific. We start all our gigs with this one, It gets people up and dancing.  *sings to self "Faa-ma-tai- Get up and parrrr-tay!!"*

Copied and pasted from various websites. I thought it was interesting anyway!

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

In the Middle Ages, a hard-working peasant was required to give one third of his income to the King, "my master," and one third to the fat nobility, "my dame," leaving only a final third for himself, "the little boy." Payment was made in sacks of wool. In other words it was a tax. Another point about this is that wool from a black sheep was worth quite a lot less than ordinary wool. The term "black sheep" of the family derives from this too.

I had a little nut tree, nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear;
The King of Spain's daughter came to visit me,
And all was because of my little nut tree.
I skipped over water, I danced over sea,
And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me.

It is almost certain that this rhyme refers to the visit of Juana of Castile to Henry VII's court in 1506.
Juana and Henry had both been widowed and it was hoped that they may marry each other, however Juana was clearly not in her right mind at the time and the relationship came to nothing.
Juana was the daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain but after her marriage to 'Philip the Hamdsome' her sanity began to leave her, it was said, due to her husband's regular infidelities. Her name in Spanish was 'Juana la Loca' or Mad Juana.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.

The Mary in this rhyme is commonly supposed to be Mary Queen of Scots. She was considered frivolous by some of the people of the time as she was young, pretty, Roman Catholic and had arrived from France with 'French ways.' She was waited on by four ladies in waiting; Mary Beaton, Mary Seaton, Mary Fleming and Mary Livingstone, it's possible that they may be the 'pretty maids all in a row.' Some versions of this rhyme start with the words 'Mistress Mary.'

OR

The origins are steeped in history... Bloody Mary!
The Mary alluded to in this traditional English nursery rhyme is reputed to be Mary Tudor, or Bloody Mary, who was the daughter of King Henry VIII. Queen Mary was a staunch Catholic and the garden referred to is an allusion to graveyards which were increasing in size with those who dared to continue to adhere to the Protestant faith - Protestant martyrs. 

The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The 'silver bells' were thumbscrews which crushed the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening of a screw. The 'cockleshells' were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals! 

The 'maids' were a device to behead people called the Maiden. Beheading a victim was fraught with problems. It could take up to 11 blows to actually sever the head, the victim often resisted and had to be chased around the scaffold. Margaret Pole (1473 - 1541), Countess of Salisbury did not go willingly to her death and had to be chased and hacked at by the Executioner. These problems led to the invention of a mechanical instrument (now known as the guillotine) called the Maiden - shortened to Maids in the Mary Mary Nursery Rhyme.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

Little Miss Muffet was a small girl whose name was Patience Muffet. Her stepfather, Dr. Muffet (1553-1604) was a famous entomologist who wrote the first scientific catalogue of British Insects. Whilst eating her breakfast of curds and whey Little Miss Muffet was frightened by one of his spiders and ran away! This particular Nursery Rhyme of Little Miss Muffet reputedly dates back to the late 16th century as indicated by the birth date of Dr Muffet!

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

The Tickle Me Elmo story

This allegedly took place in a factory in the USA which manufactured the 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys, (a children's plush cuddly toy which laughs when tickled under the arm). The legend has is it that a new employee was hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she duly reported for her first day's induction training, prior to being allocated a job on the production line. At 08:45 the next day the personnel manager received a visit from an excited assembly line foreman who was not best pleased about the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explained that she was far too slow, and that she was causing the entire line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The personnel manager asked to see what was happening, so both men proceeded to the factory floor. On arrival they saw that the line was indeed badly backed-up - there were hundreds of Tickle Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they were still piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sat the new employee earnestly focused on her work. She had a roll of red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watched amazed as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around a pair of marbles and carefully began sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager began to laugh, and it was some while before he could compose himself, at which he approached the trainee. "I'm sorry," he said to her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."